Merry Christmas!

So much better!

Thank you so much for all your help! I figured out--thanks to you guys--that I wasn't crocheting in the chain stitches and the end of the row. So now it's straight! It still doesn't look all that fantastic but at least the edges are mostly straight. Thanks again!

And here is the finished product.

Real Life Crocheting Help

Hey all you crafty ladies out there I need some help. So at the beginning of this week I decided I was going to learn how to crochet. (Why do I always want to say crochety when I read that--like a crochety old lady? Anyway, moving on...) I found some videos on line and got some hooks. I have the basics down like the chain, single crochet and double crochet. I'm starting to get familiar with patterns, but they are still a lot of gibberish but I think I'm making headway.

What I am not making headway with is making my projects square! I cannot seem to figure out how to end each row so that it's straight. I've looked on line and there aren't really any "tip" sites about crochet, just info on how to do the basic stitches. So can anyone help me? What do I need to know when I'm ending a row so that it looks straight. Oh I should say I can make a square when it is just single crochet, but this pattern I've been doing is a little different. This is what it looks like so far....

Nothing like the picture.
Help!

A Mormon Christmas Song?

This is hilarious!


Thank you Conan.

Why

Why do I think it's a good idea to stay up until 11:30 playing worthless games on my iPhone when I know that I'm going to get woken up in a couple hours?

Why is it that when I really want Mr. Smiley to have a good nights sleep, he doesn't?

Why is it that when I want Mr. Smiley to take a long nap he doesn't and when I expect him to sleep a short time he ends up taking a long nap?

Why is it that in a room full of acceptable toys Mr. Smiley will find the one forbidden thing I forgot to put out of his reach?

Why is it that Big Sister will fight me to put in a sweatshirt when it's cold outside but when it warm she will be dressed with her hat, scarf and gloves?

Why is it that Big Sister will have a closet full of toys and games but have "nothing to do"?

Why is it when I'm frustrated at Mr. Smiley for not falling asleep in the middle of the night that he smiles that huge smile and gives me a giggle so it's impossible to not be happy? (I'm thinking that's a survival technique).

Why is it that so much of my life revolves around sleep or lack of it?

Out of the mouth of Big Sister

Here are some recent gems from the mouth of Big Sister:

Right after starting Kindergarten
Big Sister: I'm almost going to be in first grade, but I'm not. But I am.

BS: Grandpa can I zerbet your tummy?
G: Sure! (Lifts up his shirt to reveal a very hairy belly)
BS: Ugh, never mind your tummy is too furry!

BS tripped and fell on the way to school

Me: are you ok? What did you hit?

BS: the ground

BS: I didn't even toot at school. My bum was sleeping.

T-Bone: What's greatest threat to America? (Referring to Stephen Colbert)
BS not missing a beat: What's the greatest recipe in the universe?
T-B: Bears?

BS: no hot dogs!

At the star party at school
BS: I can't see anything. I can't even see that truck.

On her birthday knocking on the bathroom door
Dad: Who is it?
Big Sister: It's Big Sister. The 5 year old. The one that's having a birthday.

Speaking of an owie on her arm
BS: Dad, look at this junk.

Stay at Home Mom vs. House Wife

A couple days ago T-Bone and I were talking about some friends of ours. We were talking about self-employment versus working for the "man" and that sometimes it's just more realistic to buckle down and get a job rather than think you can make it in the self employed realm. Let me get this out right now that I think self employment is a wonderful venture. I know many people who succeed at this and I'm happy for them. But there are also those who don't succeed. They fall victim to those businesses that are multi-level marketing scams but market themselves as not scams. Then they brainwash these people into believing they can make tons of money off the merits of other people. The thing is it usually takes years to make tons of money and you have to work really hard. Okay, blah, blah, blah, that's not what this post is about. I just wanted to say I have nothing against those that want to be self employed or those that want to work for the "man" either. Just support your family. That's all I'm saying.

Anyway, moving on. So we were talking and I commented to T-Bone that I wanted to work when our kids got older. I find great satisfaction in working. I take full pride in the fact that my job--although non-paying--right now is to take care of our home and take care of our children. I love my job. It is frustrating at times. Like last night at midnight when I heard a strange whisper at the other side of my bed from a certain five year old asking for ice and water which she already had in her bed. Because of that conversation, me, my husband and the very light sleeping 6 1/2 month old who shares our room were all now awake. In the middle of the night. While feeding said 6 1/2 month old and trying to get him back to sleep I was having a really hard time not being angry. But I still love my job.

I love that Big Sister needs me to cuddle with her because she just stubbed her toe. I love that Mr. Smiley makes my day every day with his contagious laugh and smiles. I love the satisfaction that I get from knowing that I am teaching my children how to be good people. I just hope that those teachings play out when they are older. I realize that my job as a Mother is the most important job because I am raising the future leaders of the world.

But I won't always need to be home. When they are older I want to work. I don't want to be a housewife. So finally after all that I come to my point. I have an acquaintance who once she was married stopped working. They didn't have kids for a couple years into their marriage, but she never worked. I thought that was interesting. Neither good, nor bad, just interesting. I want to be busy but not too busy. I don't think I'd want to work full time, but I know I don't want to be at home all day. I was thinking today that working part time in a yarn store or something like that would suit me just fine. I'm sure I could find things to occupy my time if I wanted to, but I like the idea of going back to work. It gives me a sense of self worth. And I'm not talking about monetary worth, either. I like looking back at my day and being able to say I accomplished something that day. Right now it's that the house is not a complete disaster by the end of the day but when I'm older and don't have small children to care for I want to accomplish other things.

**So what about you....are you, have you been, or do you want to be a housewife? Are you a stay at home mom? What are your feelings on the subject?**

Hello! For those of you wondering, I'm not dead. I just have a hard time blogging these days for some reason. You know how you think of things to say while you're say, in the shower, and then after you get ready and actually sit down at the computer, nothing is in your brain anymore? Yeah, that's me. Or maybe it's the 6 1/2 month old little guy that keeps me busy all day. I finally got some time last week to organize my papers and file some things away and I realized that I hadn't filed anything since April. That's before Mr. Smiley was born. So it's not just here that I'm behind. It's my whole life. I see papers stacking up in the kitchen. Piles and piles of mail and books. Big Sister brings home so much stuff from school that sometimes I feel so smothered by that. After the kids go to bed all I can manage is to collapse on the couch and watch whatever junk is on TV. I didn't think I'd ever get to this point. I normally am a very organized person. It's a good thing I have my calendar and my shopping list on my phone or I'd probably forget so many other things!

But today I was determined not to let those thoughts from the shower go anywhere except the computer and I thought I'd drop in and give a little update.

First of all, Happy Halloween! Yeah, I'm that far behind...T-Bone was an outlaw for Halloween with his authentic stache so I decided to be his hussie and dress up as a saloon girl. It was really fun. Big Sister was Belle again and Mr. Smiley was a luchador (Nacho Libre style) We were awesome if I do say so myself.

I'm not really sure what happened in November...I guess I'll skip to Thanksgiving! Wohoo, two months down! Instead of driving out to Arizona for Thanksgiving we went and hung out at the beach campgrounds with some friends. The deep fried and barbecued turkeys were yummy! The weather was gorgeous too. I love San Diego in November. The sky is clear, the weather isn't too freezing--usually--and the air has that crisp, fall feeling in it.

So that bring us to December. Man I am zooming. Why didn't I do this months ago? Big Sister turned 5!! It's nuts to think that I have a 5 year old. She had a fun birthday with a couple friends and mostly grandparents. She wanted chocolate cupcakes with white frosting and blue jello with sprinkles on top. Not sure where she got the idea to put jello on cupcakes, but I happily obliged. I made jello jiggler stars and put them on top. True to her personality she didn't like the jello too much but that's okay. Sometimes you have to try things. We were going to go bowling but all the lanes were taken up by leagues. It was pretty annoying that the leagues would completely monopolize the bowling alley during the week. That doesn't make much sense. So instead we went to Chuck E Cheese with Big Sister and her friend. They had fun getting tickets to spend on cheaper than dollar store prizes so it was worth it. Happy Birthday Big Sister!

I tell you what, birthdays stress me out. I think about all these other moms who throw huge birthday parties for their kids and I just don't know how they do it. We went to one of Big Sister's friend's parties a couple weeks ago and there were 20 kids there. It was at the park so there was room for everyone to run around and play, but that is just too much stress for me. I told Big Sister she could invite one friend over to bowl and that turned into two. No big deal, I can handle a 3 kid birthday party. Then my mom, my dad and his wife, and T-Bone's parents came too. That made 11 people altogether. I was so glad when it was over. Not that I don't like spending time with all of them, I'm just one of those small crowd people. I also think it has to do with the fact that her parties are always in our apartment since the weather is so unpredictable in December and everyone's schedules are so jam packed our days to do a party are limited. I'm looking forward to the day where we can have a party in our backyard and there's room for a bunch of kids to run around.

So that's what's going on in Big Sister's life. Now for the little one, Mr. Smiley. He turned 6 months the day before Thanksgiving. He truly is a little one just tipping the scales at 16 1/2 pounds and 26 inches long. That puts him in the 35th percentile for both. Big Sister was always--and still is--in the 75th-90th percentiles. I hope she's not taller than him! He is such a sweetheart. He loves to be held and just walk around with me but he also really enjoys being on the floor checking things out. He is a very intense thinker, you can really see him concentrating. And he will play with one toy for a long time. It's such a change from Big Sister who still is bored within minutes of things. He rolled when he was 4 1/2 months-ish and once he figured he could move he was unstoppable. It wasn't long before he was a rolling machine. He would go the whole length of the living room just because he could. Then he started scooting around and that didn't last very long. Last Thursday--a whole week before he was 6 1/2 months he crawled. (Big Sister crawled at 6 1/2 months) So after a week of practicing, he's getting pretty good. I shake my head at him every time because I was so not ready for that. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago that he would even sit. He still doesn't sit by himself for very long, he just wants to be on the move. He also loves to laugh! He is such a giggler and smiler. He makes my day, every day.

Well I guess that pretty much brings us up to speed. And perfect timing too, because I just heard Mr. Smiley getting up from his nap. Life is good. Catch ya later!

**Oh and there are lots of pictures that I've taken over the last few months but I hate how Blogger makes you upload them so they're all on Facebook. If you know my real name, go ahead and add me--if you haven't already--otherwise, you're out of luck. I'm not that motivated to post them here.**

Check it out!

So I'm totally not a girly-girl and neither is my daughter (who shall henceforth be named Big Sister, instead of Boogers). I never put headbands in her hair when she was a baby and she rarely likes her hair done today. Maybe that's because I never did it when she was a baby. Hmmm..

But who doesn't like a sweet give-a-way! My step-sister, Lindsay has an Etsy shop and her and her sister make adorable hair clips and headbands. If I ever have another kid and it happens to be a girl, I just might use them this time. And even if you are not planning on having any more babies, they make great gifts!

So go check out Lindsay's blog at Banner Boutique for the give-a-way!

Boring

Well I decided to get my butt in gear and write a post about something but halfway through I got bored with my own story-and that's never a good sign-so that will have to wait awhile.

In the meantime, here are some recent pictures. Enjoy!

October 15th

As I sit here holding my precious son, I can't help but have tears on this day. Tears of pain and loss at what never came to be and tears of pure joy at what I've been given. Today I remember those children that never joined our family but will live forever in my heart.

Conquering Half Dome

This was originally posted back in April 2008. I am reposting it because I am submitting this post as my entry in the October Write-Away Contest at Scribbit.

Yosemite has to be one of my all time favorite places--right up there with the Big Sur coast and North Shore, Oahu. The first time I visited Yosemite was about 11 years ago. My family--with the exception of my sister who was on her mission in Spain--and another family from my home town took a vacation there. We went in August and our plan was to backpack throughout the valley. There were so many fun memories of that trip. I remember the stunning beauty of the sheer cliffs and waterfalls while backpacking for the first time in my life.

But mostly I remember Half Dome.

On our first day we hiked from Glacier Point to Lower Yosemite Valley and set up camp. The next day we had planned to try our luck hiking the back side of Half Dome.

The only way I can describe Half Dome is sheer madness. If you haven't been to the backside of Half Dome, it looks like the front--solid rock. There are metal stakes every 10 feet or so up the side of the mountain with wood planks to help you up and cables to hold on to. If I had known what would happen at the top I might not have gone up--or maybe I still would.

Going up was strenuous but not difficult. I had graduated High School a couple years back and was still in great shape from swimming and jogging. Finally I got to the top and it was exhilarating. It was like I was at the top of the world. The rock is fairly at the top flat so I could walk to all sides and see the vast landscape that makes up Yosemite Valley and beyond. The view was spectacular.

After taking in the sights and resting for a while we decided to head back down. I was with my mom and the father of the other family, Lee. My brother and Lee's sons had taken off down the cliff already--practically running.

I started down the side holding to onto the cables with my hands and meticulously placing my feet so that I wouldn't slip. I went down a few feet and then I go to the "drop-off." That's as far as I got.

I was absolutely positively frozen in place. You know when people say in their dreams that they try to run but their legs won't move? That's how it was. I was frozen to that side of the mountain and there was nothing that was going to make me move. I had never been so afraid before in my life. Somehow I neglected to connect my fear of heights with climbing up and down this cliff. After scaling down those initial few feet it was like I was stepping off into nothing. The cliff went straight down I don't know how many hundred feet and all I could see was the people looking like little ants at the bottom. Not to mention if I looked straight ahead I was at the same level as some high peaks in the distance.

So I stood there rooted in place by my fear with my mom and Lee next to me. I won't even get into the crying I was doing. I'm sure the people climbing up to get to the top thought I was the weirdest person they had ever seen. Finally after at least 15 minutes of coaxing I decided to take that first step--backwards. I figured if I didn't look down at the vastness it might make it easier to get down. I just stared at my feet as I inched slowly down the hill with Lee and my mom close by my side.

Miraculously I made it back to the bottom of the cliff and collapsed against the rock to compose myself. I don't think I will ever be able to forget how I felt on that cliff. One thing I was able to forget though was my fear of heights. After calming down at the bottom of the rock I realized what I done. I had successfully overcome complete fear and made it down to the bottom of Half Dome. Before hiking up the back of that giant rock I was afraid of heights. After getting to the bottom I had conquered my fear. Knowing that I had just climbed up and down that huge sheer cliff was such a rush. It wasn't until a few months later when I was atop a tall bridge looking down. Nowhere was that panicky, short of breath feeling that I used to get when I was up high. I guess I got it all out at the top of Half Dome. I love that I conquered such a huge fear that I had. I haven't been afraid of heights since.