Boring

Well I decided to get my butt in gear and write a post about something but halfway through I got bored with my own story-and that's never a good sign-so that will have to wait awhile.

In the meantime, here are some recent pictures. Enjoy!

October 15th

As I sit here holding my precious son, I can't help but have tears on this day. Tears of pain and loss at what never came to be and tears of pure joy at what I've been given. Today I remember those children that never joined our family but will live forever in my heart.

Conquering Half Dome

This was originally posted back in April 2008. I am reposting it because I am submitting this post as my entry in the October Write-Away Contest at Scribbit.

Yosemite has to be one of my all time favorite places--right up there with the Big Sur coast and North Shore, Oahu. The first time I visited Yosemite was about 11 years ago. My family--with the exception of my sister who was on her mission in Spain--and another family from my home town took a vacation there. We went in August and our plan was to backpack throughout the valley. There were so many fun memories of that trip. I remember the stunning beauty of the sheer cliffs and waterfalls while backpacking for the first time in my life.

But mostly I remember Half Dome.

On our first day we hiked from Glacier Point to Lower Yosemite Valley and set up camp. The next day we had planned to try our luck hiking the back side of Half Dome.

The only way I can describe Half Dome is sheer madness. If you haven't been to the backside of Half Dome, it looks like the front--solid rock. There are metal stakes every 10 feet or so up the side of the mountain with wood planks to help you up and cables to hold on to. If I had known what would happen at the top I might not have gone up--or maybe I still would.

Going up was strenuous but not difficult. I had graduated High School a couple years back and was still in great shape from swimming and jogging. Finally I got to the top and it was exhilarating. It was like I was at the top of the world. The rock is fairly at the top flat so I could walk to all sides and see the vast landscape that makes up Yosemite Valley and beyond. The view was spectacular.

After taking in the sights and resting for a while we decided to head back down. I was with my mom and the father of the other family, Lee. My brother and Lee's sons had taken off down the cliff already--practically running.

I started down the side holding to onto the cables with my hands and meticulously placing my feet so that I wouldn't slip. I went down a few feet and then I go to the "drop-off." That's as far as I got.

I was absolutely positively frozen in place. You know when people say in their dreams that they try to run but their legs won't move? That's how it was. I was frozen to that side of the mountain and there was nothing that was going to make me move. I had never been so afraid before in my life. Somehow I neglected to connect my fear of heights with climbing up and down this cliff. After scaling down those initial few feet it was like I was stepping off into nothing. The cliff went straight down I don't know how many hundred feet and all I could see was the people looking like little ants at the bottom. Not to mention if I looked straight ahead I was at the same level as some high peaks in the distance.

So I stood there rooted in place by my fear with my mom and Lee next to me. I won't even get into the crying I was doing. I'm sure the people climbing up to get to the top thought I was the weirdest person they had ever seen. Finally after at least 15 minutes of coaxing I decided to take that first step--backwards. I figured if I didn't look down at the vastness it might make it easier to get down. I just stared at my feet as I inched slowly down the hill with Lee and my mom close by my side.

Miraculously I made it back to the bottom of the cliff and collapsed against the rock to compose myself. I don't think I will ever be able to forget how I felt on that cliff. One thing I was able to forget though was my fear of heights. After calming down at the bottom of the rock I realized what I done. I had successfully overcome complete fear and made it down to the bottom of Half Dome. Before hiking up the back of that giant rock I was afraid of heights. After getting to the bottom I had conquered my fear. Knowing that I had just climbed up and down that huge sheer cliff was such a rush. It wasn't until a few months later when I was atop a tall bridge looking down. Nowhere was that panicky, short of breath feeling that I used to get when I was up high. I guess I got it all out at the top of Half Dome. I love that I conquered such a huge fear that I had. I haven't been afraid of heights since.

Comparison

When Mr. Smiley was born we could not believe how much he looked like Boogers. As he's gotten older he has changed a lot so I thought it would be fun to see how much they look alike now.


At birth


8 days & 15 days


About 6 weeks


Almost 3 months


4 months

So they started out looking a lot alike, then not so much. But now I think they really look alike again. It will be fun to see how they grow up. I have the cutest kids.

It's my birthday and I'll eat if I want to

Earlier this summer my friend Brooke had her birthday. She came to the pool day our playgroup had with a burrito from Rubio's that she proudly proclaimed was free. She had signed up for some local restaurant's Birthday Clubs and was reaping the rewards.

So a month or so ago I signed up for the restaurant's birthday lists too. I was pretty bummed though because all their websites said that you can get free food only on your birthday. Well my birthday is on Sunday this year so I thought I was going to miss out on all the yummy free food--not to mention free day at Disneyland too. Plus who can eat all that food on one day? Then I got a surprise in my email box today. All of the restaurants had sent me their coupons and lo and behold I have until October 4th to use most of them! So my plan is to drop Boogers off at school every day and then head out and treat myself to lunch at Red Robin, Rubio's, and Noodles & Company. Then to dessert at Boudin and Pat & Oscar's.

It's going to be a good week. Happy Birthday to me!

On This Day

I didn't know what I was going to post today until a few mintues ago. I didn't want to do the same ol', same ol'. I wanted today's post--if I posted anything--to mean something.

I grew up in a very patriotic home. My parents have a deep love for this country and they passed that love on to me. I grew to appreciate the sacrifice that had been made so I could have the freedoms I had. We went on a vacation when I was in High School to Gettysburg and my love for America deepened as I saw proof of that sacrifice. I truly believe America is a blessed land.

Eight years ago when the planes hit the Twin Towers I was glued to the TV all day. It was devastating. I couldn't understand how some people could hate this country so much.

I plan on sharing my love for America with my children. Boogers has grown up listening to the Star Spangled Banner and has even picked up a few words of the song. My heart just swells when she sings it. So imagine my pride and excitement when this morning, with no prompting from me my sweet daughter starts reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. She had it nearly memorized after only 8 days of reciting it in Kindergarten. Now, I know she has no idea what allegiance, or Republic, or Nation means but I plan on teaching her. I hope that she can grow to love The United States of America as much as I do.

I will never forget how I felt this day 8 years ago. I will never forget the sacrifices that were made that day. I will never forget the heroes that lived and died that day.

God Bless America!

My Favorite People

Happy Labor Day!

The Sound of Your Voice

I love that song. (Sorry if the video is out of sync with the song. It didn't used to be) Anyway, I've been thinking lately. Again. I know, all this deep thinking is way out of character for me. But hey it's happening so I thought I should at least record it for posterity's sake, ya know?

So I was thinking about how I talk to my sweet daughter, Boogers. Anyone who knows her knows that she can be kind of in your face, loud, very talkative and extremely inquisitive. Her favorite words and phrases are, "Why, Mom?" "What are you doing, Mom?" "Why are you doing that?" "What did you say to (insert person's name)?" A month or so ago we were driving to my sister's house 2 hours away. The radio doesn't work in our car and my cell phone was dead so all we had was ourselves to keep us occupied. Boogers sang and chatted non-stop for over an hour. I'm not talking saying something then a break for a bit and then starting up again. It was non-stop. I didn't know someone's mouth could move for that long. She must have amazing muscular structure in her jaw. Sometimes all the questions and the never-ending chatter can get, well let's just lay it all out there and say sometimes it just gets plain annoying.

I have found myself falling into the pattern of using harsher tones of voice than necessary to talk to her. My fuse has been shorter than it needed to be. Lately I've really tried to stop that. I don't want her to look back at her childhood and remember her mom being annoyed with her all the time. Plus I want her to be happy now. I noticed that when I used harsh tones her countenance would change and frankly mine too. If I snapped at her then I was more likely to snap at her the next time I asked her to do something or stop doing something. Like I said in my last post, I want our home to be a place of refuge from the world. Somewhere that she can go after a long day at school and possibly after interacting with some not so nice kids and feel safe. So this week I tried an experiment.

I changed the way I spoke to her. I can't say I've really changed the words I use very much, but just the tone of voice. "Go brush your teeth!" turned into "Boogers, it's time to go brush your teeth, please." or something to that effect. And you know what? It's actually working. She has become such a better listener the last few days than ever before. Not only is she behaving better, but both of us are happier. There isn't any more sulking and pouting (well that hasn't gone away completely but it's not heaven here) or hurt feelings from her. Plus I find that if I use a happier tone of voice, I am most likely to continue to use that tone of voice. Like I said, I haven't really changed what I say, just how I say it. I have discovered that the sound of my voice has such an effect on our home-for good and for bad.

Maybe it's just coincidence but I'm hoping it's not.

Baby giggles are the best

He is one happy baby. If that doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will.

Overheard in our house

Boogers is full of great quotes lately and these are some of the gems her little brain comes up with.
I told her were going to get churros from Costco and she asked me what it was. I told her it was like a long round donut with cinnamon and sugar. She thought about that for a bit and then said, "Churros are like rolled up burrito cinnamon toast."
B: When I grow up I want to be a doctor, a train conductor, an airplane pilot, a farmer and a builder.I hope you can do all those things.
There's a lot of breast feeding going on in our house so Boogers has been known to "feed" her dolly too. Her name is Pinch.B: Pinch drinks soda from my boob, milk from my boob, water from my boob and potato lemon juice. She loves potato lemon juice.O-kay...
I put in a DVD and it didn't work. B: Maybe it has a big crap on it.Me trying to conceal laughterM: Do you mean a big crack?B: No crap, that's what Daddy says.M: Oh you mean it has a LOT of crap on it, like it's dirty?B: YesOkay, BIG difference!
B: I'm going to serve my mission in Kazakhstan and Mr. Smiley is going to Quebec.She picked Kazakhstan because it was a pink country

B: When you leave raisins out in the sun they turn into grape nuts.

So that's where grape nuts come from!

Last Sunday-B: Is today Fast Sunday*?

M: No

B: Is it Slow Sunday?

Uh, I guess so...

I love the way a 4 year old mind works!

**In our church we set aside the first Sunday of the month and don't eat for two meals. We give the money we saved on those two meals to the poor.

And She's Off

Two hours ago I dropped my first born off at her first day of Kindergarten. I only cried a little bit.

She has always been a well-adjusted and did not disappoint today.

She was awake before 6am this morning and dressed with her shoes on by 7:30. She had her backpack and her lunch box for her snack ready. She could not wait. She has been looking forward to this day for months. Probably even since last year. I'm not sure why she has been so excited for Kindergarten, but none the less has been. It seems like she's been looking forward to it since her last birthday. She turned 4 but the next day couldn't wait to turn 5.

Last night T-Bone gave her a Father's blessing. I loved these as a child growing up. Each year we would gather in the living room so my Dad could give us a blessing before the start of the school year. I always felt so much more prepared and ready to tackle the challenges that school gave me after the blessing. I hope Boogers feels the power that the Priesthood can be in her life.

Every few minutes she would ask me if it was time to go yet. I kept telling her, "Not until 11:30." A few minutes later, "What time do we leave again, Mom?"

Finally 11:30 came, T-Bone got home just in time, and we took off up the hill to the school. She loves to walk so we walked. But oh my it was hot! We were all sweating by the time we got up there. Then we had to wait outside the gates in the blazing heat and we sweated more.

Boogers was looking a little nervous even though she didn't say she was while we were waiting. We took a couple pictures to memorialize the day and finally they opened the gates. The kids have to wait at the gate for someone to come and escort them to their teachers so T-Bone took her. It was a little chaotic--as I'm sure all first days are--but it was finally her turn. I think she was a little unsure of what was going on until she saw her teacher and then her eyes just lit up! (We met her teacher last Thursday). She immediately held up her Barbie lunch box to show her and then turned around to show off her Hello Kitty backpack. Then she waited patiently in line for the rest of the kids. When they brought them by the gate to go to their classrooms she smiled and waved and was off.

I only shed a couple tears. I'm not one to be sad when my kids grow up, I know that it has to happen. But I wonder how she will do. I wonder what kind of influence the other kids and school will have on her. I wonder if I've taught her enough to prepare her for this. I want her to succeed and be happy.

Instead of being sad that she's growing up I have done more contemplating my parenting. T-Bone and I are very strict parents. But sometimes with that strictness comes a bit of harshness too. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I know she will be bombarded with so much at school and I really want her home to be a place of refuge. I want her parents to be people she can come to without judgment or fear. More than anything I want her to be able to feel the Spirit in our home and know that it is a different place than school.

I'm glad Boogers is starting Kindergarten. It has made me resolve to be a better parent and a better person. I just hope I can be one.

Randomness is awesome

I have all these things swimming around in my brain so for your reading pleasure, here is an awesome random post.
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T-Bone and I went and saw Wicked last night. It was awesome! I loved it and thought it totally lived up to the hype. That's the first time we have been to the theater since we've been married and I remembered why I love it so much. I wish we could go more often.
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We left Mr. Smiley with a baby sitter last night (and Boogers too)--thanks Erin! We owe you!--and he was awesome! At least that's what Erin said. I didn't leave Boogers until she was 6 months old so this is a huge step. I had a feeling he would do good, but you just never know. He has fallen into the 7:30-8:00ish bedtime way earlier than Boogers did so it's much easier to leave him.
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Speaking of bedtime. Can I just say how much I love 7:30 bedtime. I wouldn't want it any other way.
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Well I ended up having to get a new phone. Mine started acting up this week. The battery wasn't charging and when it did it would discharge quickly. On Wednesday it only lasted half a day on what it said was a full charge. Then on Thursday night it died again and didn't wake up until 12:30 on Friday even though it was plugged in the whole time. That's when I knew I should just get a new one. So I headed down to the Apple store today. Let's hope I can take better care of this one.
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Speaking of the mall and the Apple store, I can tell you that there sure was no sign that we are in a recession. The mall was packed to the brim. It took me 15 minutes to find a parking spot. And the Apple Store was way crowded. It was a big store but there had to be 75 people in it. It looked like the Christmas season down there.
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I've lost 17 pounds since my last major weight drop and 40 pounds since I had Mr. Smiley. I'm feeling pretty good about that. I had a lot more weight to lose this time around, but now I only have about 10-15 pounds left. I've been walking with friends and I feel so good. We've been going at 6:30am three times a week and though it seems early, it's been a great way to start the day.
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Mr. Smiley has been smiling a lot lately and it's so fun. He's also been giggling and in my opinion there is no better sound in this world than a baby's laugh. I keep trying to get it on video, but as soon as I turn the camera on, the smiles and laughs disappear. I'll keep trying though.
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Well that's the end of my awesome randomness post. You may now comment.