30 December 2005
So back to my job--I've sent my resume to a few work at home job postings on craigslist.com in the last fee weeks. Spencer is cutting his hours at work once he starts school so we were going to be in quite a touch spot. So I was looking to work 15-20 hours a week doing something at home to supplement our income. So this guy calls me Wednesday morning and offers me a job. 25 hours a week calling law firms to gather data for recruiters. It should be easy work--no selling, no pressure--so I'm not worried about that. What I am worried about it finding 5 hours each day to do this. I've come up with a plan though. I have to get up at 5:30 am, work till Rachel is up, nurse her, then back to work until 9 when Spencer goes to work. Then pick up the other 2 hours sometime during the day, preferably while Rachel is napping. I hope it will work. Luckily I prayed about taking this job and got a calm, peaceful feeling that this is right for our family and will work out.
I am so glad that I have knowledge that God can and does speak to us. I get so much confidence in my actions when I have the go-ahead from the Lord. It is so comforting.
So I'm a working woman again. Does that make me a work-at-home mom?
23 December 2005
The other night we were reading in 4th Nephi about the last 300 years of the Nephite civilization. I told Spencer that it was weird for me to read about the Nephites and so much wickedness. Up until that point I saw the world in a different way. To me the wickedness of the world has always been progressive. In other words, as time goes by the people of the world get more and more wicked. I realized this is not the case. It happens on a much smaller scale. Each civilization goes through this process.
Take for example the Jaredites. We know that they started out very righteous. When they landed on the promised land "they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them." (Ether 6:12) The brother of Jared had so much faith in Christ that he saw the Spirit of the Savior. The people were righteous for many years. Then Satan crept into the picture. People started to be wicked and fight. Satan stirred up the hearts of the people to want that which is wicked. Then prophets came on the scene and called the people to repentance. In Ether 7:26 we read that the people repented and the Lord spared them. So they began to prosper again. Of course this prosperity led to much strife and contention. This time people didn't listen to the prophets; instead they get progressively wicked. Eventually they get so wicked that they kill each other off. This fulfills the prophecy of destruction "except they should repent."
It baffles me that the Jaredites (and the Nephites for that matter) eventually were so wicked that they just killed everyone off. Everyone picked a side to be on and they fought to the death. How would you like to be one of those last 35 people who wake up one morning knowing that they will die that day because you are it? There just isn't anyone else to kill. Unfortunately this story of the Jaredites is not an isolated occurrence.
The Lord has told many groups of people that the same thing will happen. He tells us the same things. We know that eventually we will have a war like the Nephites and the Jaredites. Thankfully we know that this will be a fight of righteous against wicked and that there will be a winner this time. The righteous will prevail, but at a great sacrifice I'm sure. What is our goal if the war to end all wars is inevitable? Be on the right side. Learn from the stories in the Book of Mormon. It is no coincidence that the Lord has given us this book. It will help us, guide us, and give us a look into what the future will bring if we only pay attention to the signs given. It also teaches us to learn from past mistakes so they are not repeated again.
Last night I was especially moved by a verse I read. Moroni is writing some of the words of his father. He asks "Have angels ceased to appear unto the children of men? Or has he withheld the power of the Holy Ghost from them?" Moroni 7:37-38 states:
37 Behold I say unto you,I hope I never get to that point in my life where my faith has ceased. I hope that I can keep my faith strong so that the sacrifice of Jesus Christ was not in vain. I love the Gospel. I am eternally grateful for Joseph Smith who sacrificed so much--even his life--so we could have these sacred words to learn from. They teach us so much--ultimately how to be more like our Savior. Let us all take heed and learn from these words so that history will not repeat itself.
Nay; for it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it
is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things
have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of unbelief, and all is
38 For no man can be
saved, according to the words of Christ, save they shall have faith in his name;
wherefore, if these things have ceased, then has faith ceased also; and awful is
the state of man, for they are as though there had been no redemption made.
21 December 2005
The waves were beautiful. They were outstanding! I love the calmness and rhythm of the ocean, but I love looking at the ocean put on a magnificent show. This was one of those days. The tide was high and the waves were breaking really far out so there was a lot of water to look at. Even Rachel was amazed. When we got out of the car she pointed at the water and went, "Wow!" I hope that she learns to love the ocean like I do. So anyway we started leisurely walking down the pathway stopping every few feet to glance at a set coming in. All of a sudden I hear this voice coming from behind. A motorcycle cop with a microphone was speaking. "You are all parked illegally! This is the bike lane! You will be ticketed and towed if you do not move your vehicles!" "Ah, crap!" I think to myself. Better get back to the car. I hope they don't start ticketing right away! I hurry back to the car not realizing how far we'd walked. It took us a little longer to get back to the car then I expected. When I finally saw our car, I also saw a cop. He had parked his motorcycle in the middle of the road. I hope that he hasn't written me a ticket, I thought. I'm almost here! Oh, please! Then he walks away back to his motorcycle and I see the dull yellow hue reflecting off my windshield. Blast! He got me! I was so mad at myself. I knew that I wasn't supposed to park there. I made eye contact with the cop, hoping he would have compassion on a poor mother of a dang cute kid, but he didn't. He just got on his bike off to write another sucker a ticket. I was even more mad when I got in the car and drove south only to find that the places where you could park were all empty. Just my luck...
15 December 2005
I was at an apointment I had, talking to a woman in her office. Outside her office was toys and a large open play room. Well of course Rachel didn't want to be in the office, she wanted to be out playing. This was not an option because I couldn't watch her. So I sat her on my lap and tried to occupy her with a toy. She did not want to sit on my lap, so she started screaming and crying trying to get me to put her down. The crying lasted about 10 minutes and when I didn't concede, she finally did. Shortly after, I was done with my appointment and let her play for a few minutes before we left. I drove home thinking, "She just threw a fit in that woman's office! Hopefully this is just an isolated incident. Hopefully she was just tired and hungry." Unfortunately, not the case.
Every day so far, if she doesn't like something out come the emotions. She does this sobbing, hysterical cry that is almost comical to watch. Today was the absolute worst though! She does not want to play with any of her toys anymore and expects me to constantly entertain her. I usually let her try to figure out something to do on her own for a while and then I'll play with her. Today I thought, "I'll teach her how to use crayons and color." So I got out the crayons and the coloring book. She looked at all those pretty colors, picked up a crayon and put it in her mouth. "No!" I said sternly. She looked at me with surprise in her eyes, turned down her lower lip and started bawling. Now this is not the first time she has heard the word "no". She knows what it means and sometimes chooses to obey and sometimes chooses not to obey. I am so tired of EVERYTHING going in her mouth and wanted to teach her what the proper use of crayons is. She kept attempting to sneak a bite out of the crayon and every time I would give her that "look" and say, "no". Every time she would break down and sob. After a few stern "no's" she started getting my drift and would bring the crayon to her mouth, look at me, and then hand the crayon to me. I could tell she was doing this with deep, deep reluctance. "Dang, she's looking at me again! Better give her the crayon." I colored alone for a little while, Rachel never grasping the idea that writing utensils actually write and then put the supplies away.
Finally after a couple more attempts at trying to entertain her and her constantly breaking down, I just put her to bed. She took a good nap and thankfully was pretty happy for the rest of the day once she woke up. Can anyone help? Is this something that will be going on for a while or is it just a passing phase? She is so moody and volatile. Is it because she is just tired and trying to adjust to one nap?
I just want my happy baby back and to go back to the good.
13 December 2005
My cell phone is a source of security and connection to me. I know that if something happened to me or Rachel while I'm out of the house, help is just a phone call away. I know that if I need a phone number or directions to a friend's house or a business I can just dial Verizon 411 Connect and the nice people on the other end will help me. I know that in the rare case that someone wants to get a hold of me at any hour of the day, they can.
I am in serious awe at what in the world we did without cell phones 10 years ago. How did we live?!? My cell phone is my connection to the world and I don't think I could live without it. Am I the only one that feels this way?
11 December 2005
The first year I begged Spencer to get a tree. All we could afford was a 2 1/2 foot tall one from Home Depot. It was only big enough to hold 9 ornaments and that was pushing it! I bought some beautiful ribbon to adorn it as well and it seemed a bit crowded. But we had a tree!
The second Christmas we spent together I was determined to get a bigger tree. I think we got another one from Home Depot--this one had to be like 3 1/2 feet tall, at least! I was dreaming big and got creative. I saw a tree at a department store decorated with Crayola crayons and I decided that's what I want to do with my tree. I bought some crayons and went to work. I made some pretty cute ornaments if I say so myself. To complement the ornmaents I found the perfect striped ribbon at Michaels and made some bows. I was dang proud of that tree! Others didn't quite understand how proud I was of my work. My Grandpa and his wife came over one night to deliver a gift. When she saw the tree she commented, "Oh I remember when I was young and too poor to buy ornaments. I had to hand decorate my tree then." Ouch! (Here's a picture and you can make your own judgements. I forgot until looking at this picture that I also made a cunstruction paper chain. Maybe that's what made it look cheap.)
The last couple years our trees have gotten progressively larger, but they are still small. This year we had to put the stand on boxes and barricade it from our walking child. If she could reach, I just know she would grab that tree by it's trunk, push it and watch it tip right over laughing the whole time!
Tall or short tree, I'm just glad we have one. It makes the season of Christmas seem more real for me. Yay Christmas!
07 December 2005
There has been much talk about banning the use of Christmas in the news lately. Everyone is afraid to offend everyone else. It's considered offensive if you wish someone a "Merry Christmas" for fear that they don't celebrate the holiday. You are not allowed to say hardly anything controversial in case the person who you are talking to might get their feelings hurt. If you do, you are the one labled insenstive. It drives me nuts! I want to be able to have an opinion and feel comfortable expressing it. I confess, I have been lured into this trap and found myself unable to condradict someone in conversation, but walking with my friend has reawakened my desire and need to share my opinion.
On our walks we talk about everything from raising our daughters to how to spend our money to our husbands and anything else going on in our lives. She is headstrong and definitely has her opinions but our conversations have never become heated. We respect each other's posistion on the topic and in a friendly way move on to the next topic. Isn't this the way conversations are supposed to be? Isn't this what we are given as humans--to think for ourselves? We are built to have ideas and stances on things and most of all NOT keep our mouths shut. I'm not saying we should just say whatever we want and not be sensitive at all, but that we should be able to voice what we believe without fear of the backlash.
I say, "Merry Christmas!" and if you don't like it, well we can just agree to disagree and we will all be happy.
01 December 2005
Life has not been the same since this little person has entered my world. I have had to change so many things. I have had to put myself before her. I have had to give of myself. I have had to give up many things. I have also had to love more than I thought possible. I cannot imagine life without my little girl. She has brought such delight, such laughter and such wonder in my life.
We have been through sickness, health, crying, laughter, pain and so much more. It has definitely been an adventure. True, I cannot believe she is 1 already, but I so am looking forward to the adventures that we will have in the future.