The Lord works in mysterious ways, doesn't he? Wouldn't you know that the talks in church yesterday were about service and selfishness and the lesson in Relief Society was about forgiveness. (It was my turn to watch Rachel during Sunday School so I have no idea what that lesson was about!) Good thing I went to church.
So I don't really remember anything specifically that the speakers in Sacrament said (trying to take notes while a 13 1/2 month old is climbing all over you trying to steal the pen is hard work), but I do remember having the impression that if I was going to be happy I really needed to work on doing more service. And by service, I mean serving my family. Not to say that serving other people is not as important, but right now the relationships that I need to strenghthen are with my family. There is no better way to love someone than to serve them. I'm not out of love with my family, I just need to up the amount of love I am giving. In Relief Society a sister said, "If you want to gain a testimony of the Book of Mormon, you have to read it. If you want a testimony of tithing, you have to pay it. If you want a testimony of service, you have to give it." Well I need to start giving it. Everying in life feels blah. I even went so far as to think maybe I have mild depression. Should I see a doctor? I'm not sure that is the case. I think at this point it's still a matter of choice on my part. I need to choose to be happy. I need to choose to be interested in the topic of converstaion. I need to choose to be excited about the things that Spencer tells me.
So this is my goal. I know that if I start to serve people, I will be less selfish. I will start to care about others more. I will pay attention to what is going on in their lives instead of everything always being about me. If what the Savior says is true in Ether 12:27 then I know through him, I will become less selfish, more like the Savior and ultimately much happier.