05 February 2008

I never dreamed this would happen twice...

Well the last week or so I've been having a bit of anxiety in regards to this pregnancy. I felt different but then a day so later I started to feel fine about it. Regardless I contacted my midwife and asked her if I could come in for a heart beat check.

She couldn't find the heart beat.

I am just at a loss for words. I was 14 weeks last Friday but she said the baby measured about 12 weeks on the ultra sound. I never dreamed I would be going through something like this--let alone twice in less than 6 months.

I was finally feeling confident, like this was really going to happen. Deep in my heart I really felt like we were going to have another child in August. I couldn't have been happier.

Now I just don't know what to do. Part of me feels like giving up and not trying again. Just being happy with Rachel. That part is overshadowing any feeling I have toward being pregnant again. I just don't know...

Thanks for all your well wishes. I hoped I wouldn't have to do this again.

8 comments:

Hazen5 said...

Jamie, I am so sorry for you, Spencer and Rachel. It is heartbreaking to loose a baby. We are thinking of you, if there is anything you need let me know. Don't give up hope, I know there is a baby for you and a sibling for Rachel waiting for the perfect time to come to your family!

Melissa said...

Oh Jamie! I'm so sorry! Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

S'mee said...

Oh my heck! I am soo sad for you and sorry that you have to go through this. Prayers and all good thoughts heading your way.

hugs.

Julie P said...

Jamie, I am so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. My prayers are with you and your family.

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry, Jamie. I can't imagine what you are feeling... Our prayers are with you. Good luck.

Marcie said...

Jamie, I am truly saddened by this news. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Don't lose faith- it will happen.

jdprice said...

I love you sister!

Brooke said...

I am so sorry to hear about your news. I'm sure this must be so frustrating. Just know that we will be praying for you and love you lots!