10 December 2009

Stay at Home Mom vs. House Wife

A couple days ago T-Bone and I were talking about some friends of ours. We were talking about self-employment versus working for the "man" and that sometimes it's just more realistic to buckle down and get a job rather than think you can make it in the self employed realm. Let me get this out right now that I think self employment is a wonderful venture. I know many people who succeed at this and I'm happy for them. But there are also those who don't succeed. They fall victim to those businesses that are multi-level marketing scams but market themselves as not scams. Then they brainwash these people into believing they can make tons of money off the merits of other people. The thing is it usually takes years to make tons of money and you have to work really hard. Okay, blah, blah, blah, that's not what this post is about. I just wanted to say I have nothing against those that want to be self employed or those that want to work for the "man" either. Just support your family. That's all I'm saying.

Anyway, moving on. So we were talking and I commented to T-Bone that I wanted to work when our kids got older. I find great satisfaction in working. I take full pride in the fact that my job--although non-paying--right now is to take care of our home and take care of our children. I love my job. It is frustrating at times. Like last night at midnight when I heard a strange whisper at the other side of my bed from a certain five year old asking for ice and water which she already had in her bed. Because of that conversation, me, my husband and the very light sleeping 6 1/2 month old who shares our room were all now awake. In the middle of the night. While feeding said 6 1/2 month old and trying to get him back to sleep I was having a really hard time not being angry. But I still love my job.

I love that Big Sister needs me to cuddle with her because she just stubbed her toe. I love that Mr. Smiley makes my day every day with his contagious laugh and smiles. I love the satisfaction that I get from knowing that I am teaching my children how to be good people. I just hope that those teachings play out when they are older. I realize that my job as a Mother is the most important job because I am raising the future leaders of the world.

But I won't always need to be home. When they are older I want to work. I don't want to be a housewife. So finally after all that I come to my point. I have an acquaintance who once she was married stopped working. They didn't have kids for a couple years into their marriage, but she never worked. I thought that was interesting. Neither good, nor bad, just interesting. I want to be busy but not too busy. I don't think I'd want to work full time, but I know I don't want to be at home all day. I was thinking today that working part time in a yarn store or something like that would suit me just fine. I'm sure I could find things to occupy my time if I wanted to, but I like the idea of going back to work. It gives me a sense of self worth. And I'm not talking about monetary worth, either. I like looking back at my day and being able to say I accomplished something that day. Right now it's that the house is not a complete disaster by the end of the day but when I'm older and don't have small children to care for I want to accomplish other things.

**So what about you....are you, have you been, or do you want to be a housewife? Are you a stay at home mom? What are your feelings on the subject?**


Sarah said...

I've thought about this and still don't know what I would choose! I do find value in a job well done, and I do enjoy the validation that comes with a job. Like you I wouldn't do an all day thing, just something to keep me a little busy (idle hands, you know!). I think it's hard for me to envision NOT having young kids around the house at this point in my life! But if I really think about it, I would probably do the same thing you would do. Find a little job somewhere to occupy time, give me validation, and still have enough time/energy to run a tight ship at home. More than likely, I would re-focus on my education and finish my college degree first. Like I said though, right now I couldn't imagine how that would be humanly possible in the future! :) It's a good thing that life is full of phases.

The Roz's said...

i'm with you! i really enjoy taking care of my home and family but when my kids are all in school or grown up, i want to go to school or work. it does give you a sense of accomplishment and gets you out of the house.
when my kids are grown, i want a harley too.

TJ said...

i am a SAHM. when my kids get older i would like to do something, but maybe volunteer with a local non-profit, volunteer at a hospital, or go back to school and actually get a degree! being miliary, we move a lot. nor have we finished my family. i have no idea where we'll end up, or what my future holds, but it will be a good time, no matter what.:)

TJ said...

and when my kids are grown, i will do a LOT of traveling. i want to buy a home in france and go there whenever i feel like it.

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

I worked up til the week before our first son was born. If I had my way, I would've been a full time SAHM until next year when all 3 boys will be in full day school. But I have enjoyed going back to school...I am definitely grateful for that chance. At least it gets me out of being a housewife, since I never have time to clean! ;)

Cynthia said...

We have some similar attitudes on this subject but are at different points in life. My kids are now in school first time (baby hit first grade this year). I have planned to go back to work.

However, I have to say I LOVE LOVE LOVE my quiet days at home. I do not turn on the tv. Rarely the radio. I just enjoy the silence and do all the things I love to do but didn't have time for when the kids were little. When they get home, all the have-tos are out of the way so my time can be fully devoted to them without feeling like there's nothing left for me (as I did when they were little and high-needs).

I was always a career-oriented person so this love of being home when they aren't took me by surprise. I am planning to launch a little consulting business so I'll still keep my toes in the work world but unless I have to, I have no interest in returning to a regular job as I EXPECTED I would have had.

And no- the consulting thing is NOT a MLM company! Tee Hee! It's doing what I'm trained to do but on my own terms.

flip flop mama said...

Cynthia, thanks for your comment and everyone else too! I love to see everyone's perspectives. I think I need to clarify though: I WANT to be home while my kids are in school. I know that the 6 hours they are in school goes by really fast. I want to be able to volunteer in their classrooms and at the school. I'm talking about going back to work when they are all grown and either in college or out of the house.

Jen said...

I work part-time as a teacher (2 days a week). It is really an ideal situation for me as teaching is a passion of mine. I love have two identities that make up me. Of course, mom always comes first, but it's nice to get out a little bit each week. My husband watches the kids one of those days so it works fantastic for me. I also get all holidays an summers off.

Marcie said...

I would love to work part-time as well when my kids are older.