11 October 2010

Making the choice to be a Mom

My dear friend, Erin, who has a private blog posted this a couple weeks back. I loved it so much I asked her if I could post it too. I would have just linked to it, but you know, the whole private thing. So I'm reposting it in it's entirety.

Not Gonna Lie, I am Pro-Choice

President Monson has said, "Who can comprehend in its entirety the lofty role of a mother? With perfect trust in God, she walks, her hand in His, into the valley of the shadow of death, that you and I might come forth into light"..."these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one." (Ensign, April 1998)

These words have pressed upon my heart and mind a great deal lately.
Contrast the absolute truth spoken by a living Prophet, that the noblest and most God-like work a woman can do is to be a mother, with the prevalent message that has seeped into every form of modern media; that to be the best woman you can be, you must put yourself (body image, career, social status, bank account...) first.

Stories of people arguing that it is irresponsible and not eco-friendly to bring more children to the earth have taken center-stage.

Likewise, every time an election is approaching the pro-life vs pro-choice debate is given new life.

I must tell you that I HATE the term,"pro-choice," especially when used as the opposite of pro-life. Hello!!!, The entire plan of salvation is pro-choice. I am pro-all sorts of choices. I believe that you have the choice not to have sex until you're married. You have a choice to have protected sex when you are not ready to have children. You have the choice, if you choose not to wait until your married, or have unprotected sex, or even have protected sex and still get pregnant, to then make even more choices. I believe you have the choice to marry the other parent. You have the choice to single parent. You have the choice to place the child for adoption. I am pro all sorts of choice-makin' but I am NOT pro-abortion. And that is really what the opposing argument is, but it would not be politically correct to call a spade a spade and ask people if they are pro-life or pro-abortion. So the talking heads coined the catch phrase "pro-choice" to make everyone more comfortable. HATE IT!!!!

Sadly, as Elder Nelson stated in the October 2008 Ensign article, "Abortion: An Assault on the Defenseless," "Worldwide reports indicate that more than 40 million abortions are performed per year." That is more than the total number of military lives lost in World War I and II.

This Woman's work, this God-like gift, is being treated with disrespect and even contempt. That alone is enough to make my heart heavy. But the real reason this has struck such a cord with me is because everywhere I turn, I am constantly associated with the most valiant, remarkable contrast to the prevalent wicked message of the world.

You women are amazing. you made the CHOICE to have children even when your husband is working or in school (or both) full time. You made the choice to have children when you knew that your body would pay a significant price. You made the choice to spend thousands of dollars in infertility treatments and bit your tongue when everyone was "comforting you" until you had kids. You went outside your comfort zone and everything you had predetermined in your head and spent thousands more on adoption. You gave up a second income and put some personal and career goals and aspirations on the back burner for a while in lieu of different goals and aspirations. You spent months being deathly ill while having other children and a husband and a calling and a life to take care of. You had a husband who was not what he said he would be and needed to be when you needed him to be. You spent night after night either in the NICU or on your knees praying that there would not be one more night in the NICU, not knowing from one day to the next if it would be her last, you read book after book and turned to every resource you could to figure out how to meet the needs of a child that came to you with attributes you were in no way ready to handle, much less embrace. You have a child with a disability that has and will affect every single day of your life. You have yearned and prayed and fasted for a child that has not come. You have had more than one unexpected pregnancy, but never resented those children for a minute. You have had miscarriages. You have had still-born children. You have buried your little child in the ground. You have become a zombie because you have not slept and may not sleep any time in the foreseeable future. You have been nine months pregnant in the most unbearable heat. Your own disabilities keep you from giving your children everything you want to give, but that never keeps you from giving them everything. You suffer from post-partum depression, you face constant criticism, even from your own family for choosing to raise your child in righteousness...

You are as good as they get. You are what Heavenly Father needs. You are what satan is working overtime to diminish. You choose faith over fear and love, service, and family over everything else.

I am sure each of you could write a novel entitled,"Areas in my life in which I feel I am lacking," but I hope that you realize that you are doing something that is really, really, good and vitally important every day.

You made the CHOICE to be mom.


Cynthia said...

I'd happily stand and cheer for that! I agree with her too. Thanks for posting.

Sharon said...

Awesome. Her words are true!

Maile Fano said...

Thanks so much!!!! I needed to hear it again.

Angela said...

Excellent! I'm not yet a mother but certainly agree with your thoughts.

Alison Wonderland said...

"I am sure each of you could write a novel entitled,"Areas in my life in which I feel I am lacking," but I hope that you realize that you are doing something that is really, really, good and vitally important every day."

Fantastically well put.