I'm going to have three kids in 2 months.
It's taken me 32 weeks of being pregnant to fully grasp that. I haven't really had any time to think about it. I've had a pretty uneventful pregnancy until the last couple weeks so reality hasn't really sunk in.
Mr. Smiley's destructive tendencies and level of activity are inversely proportional to the capacity I have to deal with it. Meaning as I get more and more tired and unable to deal with messes and destruction, he gets more energy and more destructive. Today I was on the phone for 10 minutes, nothing too long, and in that 10 minutes he managed to bite off the nose of my styrofoam head. The one that models my hats? Yeah, that one. The one I need for a craft fair this Saturday. Yep. Luckily I was able to glue it back on and it looks mostly normal, but seriously? Biting off the nose? Who does that? Oh yeah, my 2 year old. Lucky for him I handled it pretty well. Unfortunately later Big Sister wasn't so fortunate and got yelled at.
I haven't been sleeping very well the last week or so. It's getting more and more difficult to roll myself over in bed and consequently I wake up every time I need to change positions. Luckily I usually fall asleep pretty quickly except if it's after 4 or 5 in the morning. Then I just get to lay there uncomfortable for hours until my kids wake up--which thanks to the end of Daylight Savings is usually a lovely 6:10 am. Anyone who knows me knows that without sleep I become a completely different person. Unfortunately not a pleasant one. Annoyed, short tempered, emotional, yelling. Not things I want to be. Today all those lovely qualities showed themselves. I'm not proud of my behavior, I wish I could take it back, but that's what it was.
Luckily T-Bone came home before it got too bad and right after dinner I sent myself to my room. I stayed there for over an hour crying, relaxing and listening to the scriptures while he got the kids ready for bed. It was very therapeutic. I also go to thinking about the future though. How the hell am I supposed to take care of three kids when I can't even keep it together with the two that I already have? What the hell was I thinking?
I know that things will change once I actually have the baby, but it's not like I'm going to be less tired.
Those of you with three kids or more, please tell me it's going to be okay. Please tell me I can do this!
Also please tell me I can make it though the last 2 months of pregnancy. I'm ready to have this baby today.